Moving Abroad - The Challenges

The Major Battles of Moving to a Foreign Country

Moving to a foreign country is an amazing experience; it's life-changing, sometimes overwhelming, places you far outside your comfort zone, and can throw challenges that test even the most tolerant and accepting personalities.

I've had the pleasure of moving to London, Sweden, Berlin, and Copenhagen at different stages in my life from the age of eighteen to twenty-eight. I'd like to share what I found to be the most challenging aspects of moving to a new country.

Please bear in mind that while these are challenges, the end result and the experience itself are extremely fulfilling, non-regrettable, have a positive impact, and are highly recommended.

The Language Barrier:

It's an obvious challenge. At eighteen, when I did the 'typical' Australian thing and moved to London, residing mostly with Australians and an Irish man, language wasn't an issue. Dissatisfied, I broadened my horizons, seeking countries where I needed to push myself out of my comfort zone.

My moves to Berlin and Copenhagen were especially where the language barrier became more pronounced. While many locals speak English, not everyone wants to or is entirely comfortable doing so all the time. Berlin, being such an international city, requires some basic German to get by daily and to show respect to locals. Many cafes in Berlin are places where knowing the language proves advantageous, and I found it the best environment to practice my newfound skills.

Denmark is different; many locals speak fluent English and would often switch to it when I consistently stumbled through Danish while ordering or using manners. However, learning the language is valuable for understanding conversations during socialising or work meetings – this is when I felt the language barrier most acutely.

The other benefits of learning the local language include job opportunities, making local friends, better comprehension of laws, rules, and customs, and the satisfaction when you finally express yourself correctly.

A Completely New Lifestyle and Making New Friends:

Some people resist change, while others embrace it. Moving to a foreign country, especially one with a different language and culture, is among life's most significant changes.

Embracing the local lifestyle is key to making friends. In Copenhagen, it meant trusting, being honest, reliable, and accepting Danes for who they are. In Germany, it involved celebrating local customs and fostering trust and honesty. Privacy was highly respected in both countries.

Making friends is intriguing – Danes are reserved, and breaking the ice takes time, but once friendships are formed, they are for life, and you're expected to attend everything. Germans, I found, were similar; they cherish their existing friendships but are welcoming and friendly when in the mood. My advice is to build friendships with fellow expats; once you establish a social circle, the rest will follow. Organise gatherings, attend expat meetups, put yourself out there – you won't regret it.

An Unfamiliar Work Environment:

The most significant adjustment for me was adapting to a completely new work environment. Different expectations, operational practices, working hours, personalities, team dynamics, and communication styles posed challenges that felt overwhelming at first.

In Denmark, befriending colleagues isn't expected or encouraged. Instead, efficiency, independence, minimal small talk, and drama-free work are the norm.

Maintain a separate life outside of work, respect your colleagues, and enjoy your job. Attend work functions when invited and ask for help when necessary.

The Impact of Being Away from 'Home':

For me, being away wasn't a major issue, as is often the case for many expats who move frequently between countries. The concept of 'home' isn't always a true reflection of one's current life stage. I enjoyed adapting to new environments, fulfilling a childhood dream in Copenhagen, where I lived and worked.

However, for others, the hardest part of moving can be missing family, friends, familiarity, and their usual network of acquaintances. For some, it can be overwhelming, prompting them to return home or opt for shorter, more frequent travels.

Many friends chose the latter approach – backpacking to gain experiences, which appealed to them more than settling in another country long-term. Moving to a foreign country at a young age (say, between 18-21) makes it easier to repeat or relocate multiple times. Older individuals may find it more challenging, with stronger ties to home and established routines. Having family connections or friends of friends nearby can ease the transition.

It's always interesting to hear what expats miss most about their home country or lifestyle. Personally, I don't have a single thing, but face-to-face contact with friends and family, and sometimes the Australian rural way of life, crosses my mind.

Remember, people move to foreign countries for various reasons – to gain independence, personal space, think freely without distractions, or start anew. Such individuals may not rely as heavily on support networks, making their experiences more diverse, with varying highs and lows requiring greater support.

Customs, Traditions, Rules, Laws, and Personalities:

It's fascinating to observe how foreigners adapt to a new country's language, beliefs, customs, traditions, laws, and expectations.

I've always taken a balanced approach – maintaining aspects of my own lifestyle while genuinely embracing the local culture. Show interest in their traditions, ask questions, offer assistance, and participate in social events. Celebrate local festivals and events, such as Copenhagen's Distortion festival and Winter Solstice, or Berlin's vibrant weekend parties by the park and river.

Maintaining privacy is crucial, but embracing the local culture and being social are equally important. Although I lived in Copenhagen for just over a year, I'm grateful for embracing its social life and forming lifelong friendships.

Understanding and adjusting to another country's laws, rules, and general expectations can be challenging. Accept that mistakes are part of the learning process; nobody is perfect, especially when newly relocated. Over time, you'll grasp the local customs, like Denmark's cycling rules, which locals strictly adhere to, or the residual influence of Janteloven (Law of Jante) in social interactions. Remember, you don't have to conform entirely; maintain your individuality, and people will eventually accept you.

Being your authentic self is easier in a foreign environment where expectations and judgments are lower. Embrace this aspect of moving; the positives far outweigh the negatives, especially in the long run.